/* TEAM */

Title: Chief Chud Officer
Name: [REDACTED, PSL too low to display]
Contact: chud@chudflare.com
Location: Denver, CO (hunched)

Title: VP of Slop Engineering
Name: [REDACTED, currently mid-mew]
Contact: slop@chudflare.com
Location: Remote (beanbag)

Title: Principal Chudmaxxing Architect
Name: [REDACTED, mouth slightly agape]
Contact: hunch@chudflare.com
Location: undisclosed (agartha)

Title: Staff Mewing AI Trainer
Name: [REDACTED, tongue on palate]
Contact: mew@chudflare.com
Location: Basement (nominal)

Title: Director of Doomscrolling
Name: [REDACTED, spiritually unavailable]
Contact: doom@chudflare.com
Location: Horizontal (fully chudded)

/* SITE */

Last update: 2026-05-18
Standards: HTML5, CSS3, Vanilla JS
Components: Zero frameworks. Zero build tools. Zero PSL.
Software: Written by a chud in a hoodie indoors at 3am.
Font: Inter (Google Fonts)
DNS: 6.9.6.9 (Chud Name System)

/* THANKS */

Thanks to Cloudflare for building excellent infrastructure
that we are lovingly parodying. This is satire.
We are chuds. They are not. Please don't sue us.

Nothing ever happens.