Chudflare is a parody of Cloudflare. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, sponsored by, or in any way related to Cloudflare, Inc. This careers page is a comedy bit. We do not actually pay anyone in Monster cans. There is no health insurance. We are not really hiring.

🥤 Chudtern™ 2027 applications close when our intern coordinator finally stands up. Apply below →
Contact Slop Sales Log in Apply now
Careers / Chudtern™ 2027

We're hiring chuds.

Chudflare's Chudtern™ program is the longest-running pipeline of horizontal, mumble-fluent, posture-deficient talent in the industry. Four positions are open this cycle. Salary is paid in pre-IPO equity and limitless soylent.

Start application
01

Who are you

we will not actually contact you
02

Which chudternship™

pick exactly one
03

Chud screening

be honest; the WAF can tell
0 = sigma freak posture, 47 = ideal chud, 90 = horizontal
Below 5 preferred. Above 6 we will retract the offer.
04

Free response

no AI, we'll know
40-1500 characters.
Optional. Max 1500 characters.
Optional. Must be a full URL with scheme.
By submitting you confirm you have read the parody disclaimer and accept that we may read your answers aloud in a Discord voice channel.
Heads up: Chudflare is a parody of Cloudflare, Inc. and is not affiliated with them, the Cloudflare careers team, or any real recruiting pipeline. This page exists for comedy. Submissions are forwarded to a private Discord channel and are not stored, processed, sold, or used to make hiring decisions, because there are no hiring decisions to be made. Do not submit sensitive information. If you want a real job in cloud infrastructure, apply at cloudflare.com/careers.