Every plan includes the full Slop Delivery Network, unlimited bandwidth, and our patented refusal to make eye contact at standup.
For personal sites, vibe-coded slop you cannot explain, and Cursor evangelists in their first week.
For solo founders shipping AI wrappers they “fully understand,” priced at $19/mo on Stripe.
For SMBs whose CTO calls every PR a “vertical AI agent” and whose HQ is somewhere on Valencia.
For Series C founders who DM you at 2am about first principles, founder mode, and AGI by EOY.
| Feature | Chud | Looksminned | Permachud | Gigachud |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Slop Delivery Network | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Page rules | 3 | 20 | 125 | Unhinged |
| Chad Fight Mode threshold | PSL ≥ 8 | PSL ≥ 5.5 | Custom | Dynamic |
| Under Mew Mode | ✗ | ✗ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Chud tokens / mo | 10M | 50M | 250M | Unlimited whispers |
| Account Mogger (CSM) | ✗ | ✗ | Shared | Dedicated |
| SLA | Best chuffort | 99.5% | 100% (nap-excluded) | 100% (no excl.) |
| Support response time | When we wake up | 24h | 1h | Instant mumble |
It's a 1-to-10 facial harmony score that certain forums invented online and TikTok unfortunately found. 1.0 = subhuman chud. 4-5 = the average person. 8+ = chad. 10 = unattainable cosmic gigachad. The Chudflare engineering team is collectively around 2.1. We have made peace with this.
Yes. The Chud tier is genuinely free forever. We make money on the other tiers because the gigachudded refuse to look bad in front of their CFO.
No. Our products are clinically proven to have zero effect on your facial harmony. Counter-clockwise rotation is also unaffected.
Only on the Gigachud plan, and only if the supplements are still sealed. We cannot accept opened peptide vials per PCI-DSS Chud Annex B.
Your domain will continue to function normally but every API response will be replaced with the text "nothing ever happens" for 90 days.
No. We're parody. Cloudflare, Inc. ships excellent infrastructure. We ship a website with a sad cloud and unhinged copy. Please do not point your nameservers at us in production.
Yes, and we encourage it. Several of our founders did. Several of our founders also still live with their mom.
Let's be real, neither of us are making enough money to be asking or answering this question.
Sign up for the Chud tier. No credit card. No standing. No mewing required.
